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Guk Fa Ca (Chrysanthemum Tea)

Lost Youth

Once again, it is a lonely night to be spent in Kuala Lumpur. The city of lights and the wake for nightlife adventures and unspeakable activities?
  For a city girl, she is terrified of the foreign nightcrawlers. If only she was brave enough to ask out the guys from her Uni who are from the same city as her to go out and roam the city beneath the street lights and sing the laments of her virgin youth, untouched by the rowdy youth that she envies of her friends.
  Yet, she also knows there are people who are not able to have that luxury as well, so her youth is not as bad as others then, right? Not everyone can afford that happiness she longs for, but still she yearns for it deeply. Moaning in sorrow of lost youth, quickly passing time that only at those moments can she experience, but now they have slipped through her too fast.
She compares herself to other’s lack of. It is to reassure herself that even without them others can still live without much thought about what the norm would consider as the golden moments of youth. It is too late. So, all she can do is silently mourn deeply and silently in her heart for all the missed opportunities.
  She wants to reach and touch the golden moments of others, to experience it herself. She wants to make friends with the nightlife guys and dance around the fire of adulthood burning with the wood of teenage dreams. She wants to lick the edges of adolescence flavours and passions.
  Yet, here she is. Stuck in her world of daydreams and yearnings and cries of regret from mis opportunities of her youth. People will tell her, she is not too old, yet they will come around to put up barriers and limits for her from crossing towards these experiences.
Hence, she quietly types away on her laptop, cementing her hate and regrets into digital words, hovering upon the edge of whether should she share this on a blog or keep it within her memory of its existence. The pain, yearnings, urges and regrets of her fading teenage dreams.


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