Lost Youth
Once again, it is a lonely night to be spent in Kuala
Lumpur. The city of lights and the wake for nightlife adventures and
unspeakable activities?
For a city girl, she is terrified of the foreign
nightcrawlers. If only she was brave enough to ask out the guys from her Uni
who are from the same city as her to go out and roam the city beneath the
street lights and sing the laments of her virgin youth, untouched by the rowdy
youth that she envies of her friends.
Yet, she also knows there are people who are not able to
have that luxury as well, so her youth is not as bad as others then, right? Not
everyone can afford that happiness she longs for, but still she yearns for it
deeply. Moaning in sorrow of lost youth, quickly passing time that only at
those moments can she experience, but now they have slipped through her too
fast.
She compares herself to other’s lack of. It is to reassure
herself that even without them others can still live without much thought about
what the norm would consider as the golden moments of youth. It is too late.
So, all she can do is silently mourn deeply and silently in her heart for all
the missed opportunities.
She wants to reach and touch the golden moments of others,
to experience it herself. She wants to make friends with the nightlife guys and
dance around the fire of adulthood burning with the wood of teenage dreams. She
wants to lick the edges of adolescence flavours and passions.
Yet, here she is. Stuck in her world of daydreams and
yearnings and cries of regret from mis opportunities of her youth. People will
tell her, she is not too old, yet they will come around to put up barriers and
limits for her from crossing towards these experiences.
Hence, she quietly types away on her laptop, cementing her
hate and regrets into digital words, hovering upon the edge of whether should
she share this on a blog or keep it within her memory of its existence. The
pain, yearnings, urges and regrets of her fading teenage dreams.
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